Saying Goodbye: Using Books to Help Children Cope with the Death of a Pet

Life as a children’s librarian usually deals with happy things – finding books about a child’s favorite character, dancing around in story-time, or having fun with a messy art project.  Sometimes we have to deal with more serious topics.  I have had several patrons ask me for books about helping a child who is grieving the loss of a loved one or pet.

We went through this first-hand in my family.  A few months ago, our dachshund, Domer, passed away.  He was the baby of our family before we had kids.  At 16 years of age, he had slowed down a lot and my husband and I knew what was coming.  My sons, ages 10 and 4, reacted very differently when the time came to finally put him down and relieve his pain.  My older son has been through loss before and knew what it meant for our dog to die.  He was visibly upset about it, as were my husband and I.  But my younger son did not completely understand.  He thought Domer was just sick and would come home when he got better. He tried to “fake” cry because he saw how upset the rest of the family was and felt like he should be too.  The first few days were filled with sadness and confusion for him.  As time has passed, he understands that Domer is not coming home.  As he’s gotten older and more mature, he’s also asked more questions about death, which are obviously difficult to answer for a 4 year old.
           

 


If your family is going through a similar situation, here are a few books in the Mercer County Library System that I recommend to help get through this difficult time.

A Dog Like Jack
This story follows an adopted dog, Jack, through the years and the boy, Mike, who loves him.  As Jack gets older and his health declines, he begins to miss out on a lot of fun things he used to be able to do.  This books shows Mike go through a range of emotions when Jack passes away.







Sally Goes to Heaven
This story takes a different perspective - Sally is an old dog who goes to sleep after a day of and “wakes up” in heaven.  The colorful illustrations show that heaven is a wonderful place full of treats and without pain.  This book may be a great comfort to a young child trying to understand where their dog actually is.

When a Pet Dies
Although this book is somewhat dated, there is something very comforting about Mr. Rogers during difficult times.  This non-fiction title features photographs.  The straightforward text touches on the different emotions and stages of grief a child feels when they lose a pet - lonely, sad, angry.  The ending is very reassuring to both children and adults: you won’t always feel this way.  The promise of happiness in the future is there.

Harry & Hopper 
Harry and his dog Hopper have been friends since Hopper was a puppy.  This story deals with the loss of Hopper after a sudden accident, instead of old age or illness.  When Hopper shows up in Harry’s dreams, he is finally able to say goodbye to his friend.

The Forever Dog
Mike has cared for Corky since he was a puppy and creates a “forever plan” – they will be best friends forever.  When Corky gets sick and dies, Mike feels angry that Corky broke his promise.  As Mike remembers all the good memories he has of Corky, he realizes that his dog will always have a place in his heart.

Saying Goodbye to Lulu
Sad that she can’t make an aging Lulu well again, the little girl in this book does her best to keep her comfortable in her last days.  After a heartbreaking goodbye, the little girl is eventually able to open her heart to a new friend.

 My Old Pal Oscar
This book shows a young boy learning to love and accept a new dog into his life after an old friend has passed away.










These books may help your child, as well as you, the parent.  I know I shed more than a few tears reading through them and reminiscing about my little pup.  I absolutely recommend reading these books yourself before introducing them to your child.  You know your child - their maturity level and how sensitive they are.  A book that is helpful to one child may be upsetting to another.  I found my younger son constantly looking at a certain book that made him really sad.  We try our best to keep Domer’s memory alive and remember the happy times.  My family is not yet ready to open our hearts to a new pet, but hopefully one day we will be.

If you ever need help finding a book on any topic, please don’t hesitate to stop in to your local branch.  We are happy to help find appropriate books for your children on any subject, either happy or sad.

- Miss Lauren, Lawrence Branch