A Touch of Love From Miles Away

When I stepped into a new country and made the United States my home, little did I know that living overseas would bring challenges. The biggest challenge of them all: taking care of our parents and being so far away from them. Fast forward, as we settled abroad, our parents’ age caught up and they needed our help.

While working in the library, I saw my coworkers rushing to their parent’s house, helping them out, and coming right back to work. For me, it’s a twenty-four-hour flight halfway across the world. Since my dad passed away, my mom was aging as the years went by and was unable to take care of herself all alone. Caregiving is a challenging role physically, emotionally and financially.

Whether you need regular or occasional help, finding the right caregiver requires careful planning and research. I started noting my mom’s requirements and interviewed and sent emails to various organizations. Since she is in India, my work was more intense via emails and WhatsApp calls. Of course, the time zone was a barrier.

I spent many sleepless nights trying to locate a caregiver.

In India, since a lot of us have aging parents, the number of organizations and agencies have grown. I was able to find an organization based in Kolkata, India which I depend on to take care of my mom. The care manager visits my mom and facilitates the medical help she needs in my absence.

Along with medical care, some of the organizations also provide routine household services, wellness monitoring, emotional support, companionship, social engagement and assisted living facilities.

Here are a couple of resources that can help support the care of our loved ones in India.

https://scw.dosje.gov.in (Aging with Dignity)

https://elderlycareindia.org (Elderly Care India)

Mercer County Library System has some resources that you will find helpful in your search, whether you are already a caregiver or may become one in the future. Start with this article from Infobase Health Reference Center:

https://online.infobase.com/Auth/Index?aid=17312&itemid=WE48&articleId=113448

The Caregiver Backpack is also a good source of information for parents who reside in the United States.

Long distance caregiving is stressful, as the fear of the unknown is difficult. Be prepared to adjust if your loved one’s needs or situation changes. You can buy a little bit of time and peace with a caregiving agency.

The physical distance is tough, but from experience, I can say knowing that my mom has some help gives me mental peace. This also helps me to focus on my job and move on.

Along with caregiving over long distances, we should also try to spend some quality time with our parents whenever we get a chance. Staying connected even from a long distance is the key for caring for your elderly parents. The time spent together is precious - more than tasks and responsibilities…a cup of tea or coffee with them or watching a movie does magic.

Here is a list of books available at the Mercer County Library System which are helpful.

A bittersweet season : caring for our aging parents-- and ourselves by Jane Gross

The sandwich generation : adult children caring for aging parents by Charles Roots

Caregiving : taking care of yourself while caring for someone else by Deborah Barr

Stand by me : a guide to navigating modern, meaningful caregiving by Allison Applebaum

As Maya Angelou stated…

“The ache for home lives in all of us. The safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.”

Long distance is tough and nerve- wracking but if we can lay out a plan of action, things will turn around. In the words of Theodore Roosevelt - "Believe you can and you're halfway there." 

 

Tanusree Ganguly

Robbinsville Branch